Normalcy
by CyberPirateSpeedo
Summary: Post-game. The trolls must now adapt to life on a planet the kids have made in their image without the friends they have lost along the way. Rated M for sex, drugs and language.
1. Chapter 1

Somewhere down town, there was a small studio apartment that housed two boys. They weren't related, only friends.

Considering their means of obtaining money, it was the nicest place they could have lived. Sure, it was in the less-reputable side of town, but when it came to things like that, you can't let much bother you.

Gamzee was sprawled at the foot end of the single queen sized bed, staring into his computer blankly and scrolling through web page after web page. The bed was in the corner, which suited him just fine. He liked having the solid drywall back him up in his sleep, and didn't mind that the window was -right there-. Because as he would so eloquently put it "Sometimes all you need is a little motherfucking sunshine to kick your ass right out of the wicked Z's."

The TV had gone out and it was pretty stressful for his roommate, who would rather watch TV or free movies on HBO rather than scroll listlessly through facebook or some sort of networking site, which were all utter bullshit if you asked him. His roommate's name was Karkat, and he was scrunched up in the pillows at the head of the bed, doing the same as Gamzee. Staring blankly at his laptop screen, muttering to himself how stupid some people could be. Why can't people fucking think before they post? That shits retarded.

Gamzee rolled onto his back and started typing upside down. This amused him greatly, but made Karkat roll his eyes. The easily amused troll stood up shortly after, and headed to the sink to wash off his make up. Karkat glanced up to watch his roommate start his nightly routine in preparation for bed. It was weird. On Alternia they wouldn't be even nearing tired around this time of night. In fact, trolls were mostly nocturnal. But Gamzee made it a habit to start living like a human since they were going to live on a planet inhabited mostly by such. And when you live around Gamzee's schedule, you're gonna get used to it.

Once he was done, he toweled his face off and stared over at Karkat's direction for a split second. He scratched his head and flicked his ear with his pinky. Karkat was caught staring at his scars, before he realized what he was doing and went back to trolling whoever on his little red web messenger. He didn't know why Gamzee insisted on hiding his face with that god-awful make up. His face was just fine as it is, even with the scars. Actually, he was pretty handsome without the garish paint. Gamzee grinned to see Karkat kind of jumpy. Something was up, but it wasn't bad. He could tell if something bad was going down. _Most times._

Come to think of it, Karkat was kind of surprised at how calm and quiet Gamzee was acting for a change. Usually this late on a Friday night, he'd be cooking up plans to go bowling or some stupid shit with the others. Karkat failed to see the point of that stupid redneck sport. Bowling is pointless. The pins just get set back up again once you knock them over. The hell is up with that?

Despite his calm behavior, Gamzee looked like he had just hatched something. Or that could have just been gas. He bent over to open the teeny mini fridge they could afford, and stared inside. He burped loudly and his eyes got wide. He then laughed loudly, pulling out a Smirnoff and cracking it open.

"Holy motherfuckin' shit, bro! Did you just hear that? I musta ate somethin' that was still kickin' or some shit." He proceeded to laugh with his own joke as he started lining up the open counter space with Faygo, a few empty glasses, and non-flavored Smirnoff. Karkat rolled his eyes.

"YES. And I'm HIGHLY ENTHUSED by your regularly scheduled sleazy bodily functional antics that happen to be HORRIBLY DISPLEASING yet HILARIOUS to anyone who isn't me. ….the fuck are you even doing over there? It looks disgusting."

Gamzee didn't let the others crankiness slow down the little party he was hosting by his lonesome. You just gotta let some shit slide, especially when life is so good. He simply grinned as he poured ample amounts of Smirnoff and Faygo into a couple of glasses, experimenting. "I am -concocting-, my brother, a simple stupefying brew of the wicked elixir and fire water." He pinched his fingers together, kissed them, then flung his arm aside, making a "muah" noise as he did so. Some stupid human gesture he more than likely picked up from working at Olive Garden. All those pretentious douche bags who defiled the art of Italian dining on a regular basis probably taught him that. "Tres magnifique or some shit. I don't even know!" He looked over at Karkat, wiggling his eyebrows. "Come on, best motherfucking friend, you know you wanna try a sip."

The other troll held up one finger. "First. The fuck is Tres Magnifique? You sound like a goddamned douche bag. Stop that. Second. You mixing Faygo and sissy beer does NOT sound appetizing in the fucking slightest. I'd rather eat that stupid slime pie you insist on cooking and scarfing down my protein chute, and third, why are you drinking before you go to bed? You REMEMBER what happened last time."

In fact. Gamzee did NOT remember what happened last time. He simply sips his brew and grins with his teeth slightly stained from the red drink. "Just because a brother took off his look for the day don' mean hes plannin' on stayin' down for the night, you know what I'm sayin'?" He knocked back a couple more sips, seemingly enjoying his latest concoction.

"Absolutely no clue. Your blubbering hasn't gotten any clearer since we started acting like humans on this god forsaken rock those kids decided on making." Gamzee seemed to brush everything off way too easily. It made one wonder if you could even get under the guy's skin. He simply brought a glass to the bed and set it on the night stand.

"I know you said you didn't want none, bro, but I made you one anyway. Nothin' like tossin' one back with your best bro, right?" He nodded, grinning and happy. "Bros are a motherfucking miracle." Karkat's eye twitched at the mentioning of bringing him some slop, and the subject of Gamzee's demented miracles. He wouldn't say anything about it. He'd seen the consequences of questioning the Bard of Rage.

"...sure." Karkat eyed the drink the other had brought him warily. He then saw out of the corner of his eye how expectantly that big juggalo-freak was staring at him. He sighed, rolled his eyes, and put his laptop aside, deciding to give it a go. He grabbed the glass, brought it to his nose, and sniffed the fizz that was coming off of it. Gamzee sort of leaned in to watch Karkat drink it. This irritated the other. "If I'm gonna do this, I don't want a fucking audience, _Gamzee_." Gamzee shimmied off to go make himself another glass after that, sort of glancing over to see if his best friend liked it. It would mean a lot to him. Karkat stared before downing a single gulp. He blinked. ….better than he expect- if he looked up. He'd see Gamzee. Right. Fucking. There. Not even three centimeters from his face. Good thing he didn't look up. Instead he closed his eyes, bit his lower lip and said as calmly as possible. "Its good. Now will you please GET the FUCK OUT OF MY FACE?"

Gamzee was so pleased to hear this. He didn't even mind the small remnants of spit that hit his face as Karkat yelled. He danced around happily. "Ah-haaaaahh, bro! You see what I'm sayin'? You just gotta calm yo' tits, and open your motherfucking mind to the possibilities, and then you can sit here and have a good motherfucking drink with your best bro. Is that so much to ask?" He grinned, his sharp teeth glistening behind a thin film of saliva. He was getting there. There might've been something extra in the drink. Karkat could taste it. Vodka? Whatever. He needed a good drink anyway.

Karkat started drinking the rest of this seemingly horrid elixir that his half-stoned roommate cooked up. The more you drank, the better it tasted. He shook his head in dismay and continued surfing blindly. John, the little hopelessly adorable and hard-to-dislike human kid, sent him a link over PesterChum (to which he unhappily conformed to). He clicked it, and a loud song started playing. It was heavy, deep, and sounded very industrial. ...techno music. What. What is this. Why would John send him this? Oh. Dave made it. Hm. He pocketed whatever disdain he held for the ironically-moronic cool kid that never grew out of that retarded phase and listened.

When Gamzee heard the song, his curiosity piqued. He peered over at his roommate's computer, grinned, and set his drink down, licked his lips, and ran to the dresser. He rummaged through his underwear drawer (that looked like it had never been touched) and pulled out two glow sticks. He grinned stupidly and cracked them both, shaking them up. He held up a hand to Karkat. "Waiiii-waitwaitwaitwait. Wait a minute." He darted over to the front door, almost stumbling, and shut off the light as fast as he could. All that lit the room was the two laptops and the glow sticks. He grinned "OK OK now, now start the song over, and come here." Karkat just...stared. "...why the hell should I do that?" he responded snidely. "COME OOOOON. Do iiiiiiiit!" The taller troll pleaded.

Karkat rolled his eyes, not even fucking able to believe that he was going along with this. He started the song over, and set the computer aside, crossing his arms over his chest. Gamzee started throwing the glow sticks around in a deranged fashion. He looked over his shoulder at the other, frowning, before commanding again. "TURN UP THE MOTHERFUCKING JAMS, MY BROTHER." Karkat shouted back "ITS AS FAR AS IT WILL FUCKING GO, MY LIEGE." Gamzee frowned. "LAME." …..he then grinned, shrugged, and continued dancing regardless.

Karkat was not nearly drunk enough to allow himself to join. So he was just going to watch. He had to admit, watching Gamzee stumble around in his little make-shift rave party was kind of entertaining. Gamzee started laughing. "S-Sol-Sollux. Thhholluckttthh. Gave me these motherfucking miracle...sticks." He started laughing before removing his shirt. He shook his feathery, messy, shoulder-length mane that he called hair. Karkat flushed a little bit. Annoying or not, Gamzee was still highly attractive. Even if he was a wee bit tipsy at the moment, but always delusional and stoned. He shook the thought away and simply sipped his drink a bit more.

Gamzee started stumbling around a bit more, flinging the sticks around in the fashion he had become accustomed to, and stopped to smooth some hair out of his face. He then headed over, grabbed Karkat's hand and yanked him to his feet. "How the fuck are you gonna get your motherfucking groove on if you're on your ass?" Karkat was about to abjure the hell out of this idea, but...when Gamzee is kind of clinging onto you in this fashion there's no way to really abjure the hell out of much. The taller troll started a sort of tipsy tango, taking lead for Karkat, who wanted to just curl up in a ball and not do anything at this point in time. The clown grinned. "Not so bad, right?" 

Karkat snorted. "You smell like bread sticks, cheap pasta, and vodka. And as appealing as that may be to you, its actually making me feel like I need to hug the porcelain load gaper." Gamzee laughed happily, smearing his cheek against Karkat's. "There you are, car-keys. I was getting' all motherfuckin' worried and some deep shit cause you were like...all quiet and shit. Shit isn't good when your mouth stops runnin'. No offense, of course. Everything OK my brother?" Karkat grumbled. "Nothing pisses you off, does it you fuck-gurgling clown? Your face still feels patchy from that paint you cake on. You're gonna get pimples."

Gamzee just listened to his wound-up roommate prattle on about nonsense he hadn't even stopped to think about. He laughed a bit "Zits? You got yourself all worked up about motherfucking zits man I ain't never even seen that comin', bro." he continued with his weird little tango impression he maybe saw on TV once. It was abruptly interrupted by Gamzee's foot slipping and hitting a bike horn that was one of many strewn around the apartment. He jumped "AAAAHHH FUCK" and in his confusion, brought Karkat down to the floor. Karkat jumped with him, instantly clinging to the taller troll before he landed on Gamzee instead of the floor. They laid there for a bit, just letting the vodka at least attempt to leave their think pans before Gamzee looked up.

"...motherfuckin' I just scared the shit out myself with these fuckin' horns."

"...I WAS THERE GAMZEE."

"HA HAAAAAAAA!"

"YOU NEED TO PICK UP THESE RIDICULOUS GODDAMNED HORNS THEY AREN'T FUNNY TO ANYONE BUT YOU."

Gamzee pushed himself up, shaking his head. "THAT is how you motherfucking tango. I think." You could see Karkat's disdain clear on his face. "You're a fucking moron." The short scruffy troll stood back up, and went back over to finish his drink, laying on his back in the bed. He was a little dizzy after his roommate's charade. That and this techno music coming from -Dave- kind of put him in a sour mood. But lets face it, you wouldn't be able to tell if he wasn't in a sour mood.

Gamzee was a little sad that his roommate wasn't so keen on re-joining him in the little dance. He kicked the horn aside, and stood up to go lay out beside him. "...somethin is really getting to you, bro." he reached over and traced the grumpy male's stomach lightly with a nail. It made Karkat tremble, and he promptly slapped his roommate's hand aside. Gamzee rested his head on his stomach instead, staring up at him with those foggy indigo eyes. "Come on, maaan. Don't be hidin' shit from your motherfucking brother like that." Karkat crossed his arms over his chest so to not see those eyes.

"...that song. John sent it to me." Gamzee perked, but didn't say anything. He just let the other continue. Karkat sighed, figuring it wasn't fair to take out all his anger on his unwitting friend. "...Dave. Made it." He soothed his fingers through his short mussed up hair, avoiding eye contact and moving his arms away from his chest. "I want to be happy for them. But. It still hurts. He chose Dave over me. It haunts me thinking that I was...too much of a fuck-up to even get John's attention. To even deserve it, really."

The clown couldn't frown. It wasn't in his nature. Even if the feelings he had for Dave were as black as the night around them. Instead he propped himself up, and patted Karkat's shoulder. "Bro. You can't keep tellin' yourself you're a fuck up or everyone is gonna believe you are. And look at me bro. Look at me." He tilted the angry troll's face up to look him in the eye. "You ain't no fuck up. Don't make yourself believe that shit, alright?" Karkat stared at him, those burgundy eyes that had started to change from gray to candy red were full of emotion. Emotions trolls weren't even supposed to have. As usual, the tinge of frustration was there with a swamp-load of anger. Those eyes stared into the calm, chaotic purple hues of his roommate and best friend. He instantly felt comfort from staring into those unpredictable eyes.

He rubbed his nose and nodded a bit. "...thanks Gamzee." Gamzee grinned and simply wrapped his arms around Karkat, resting his chin on his messy black hair. "Anytime, my brother." This physical contact made the shorter one flush red and he pouted. "Have you always been this touchy-feely? It almost feels unnatural to hug a guy as much as you've hugged me." Though he complained audibly, it felt nice to have someone so close to you. Especially Gamzee. Gamzee his best friend and...sometimes maybe more. Maybe...much, much more.

"Not really." Gamzee answered, promptly snapping Karkat out of his day dreaming. "Though I guess...maybe...kinda. Fuckin' these things are hella complicated, bro." He shrugged and snugged close to Karkat's face. In his breathing space. Karkat looked to the goofy male and...was bending under pressure. He needed the comfort only Gamzee could really give, and he wanted to make sure Gamzee knew what he needed or wanted, without danger of misinterpretation. This thinking permitted, he placed his hand gently on the bard's cheek, and moved in to kiss him.

Gamzee's yellow and indigo eyes shot wide. That was the absolute last thing he expected to happen. Was this the alcohol? No, no it couldn't be. Even when under the influence of alcohol, Karkat was still mostly clear-minded. His bro needed help. His eyelids felt heavy, and he closed his lids and leaned in to the kiss, hand going to the back of his troubled friend's head to pull him closer. Karkat's lips parted as he fisted his hand in the shaggy black mane, his tongue slipping past Gamzee's lips without permission. He needed passion. Gamzee gave a small moan in reception to this, allowing his tongue to tangle with the other male's. He shifted so he was laying on top of Karkat, legs straddling either side of him so he wouldn't crush him. Karkat gripped him, then landed his hands on the sheets beside him to pull off for air, staring up into the bard's eyes. Oh...man he really opened this up on himself.

Gamzee was breathing evenly while Karkat looked to be out of breath. Gamzee calmed him by soothing his hair out of his face, and leaning down to kiss him again. Karkat melted into those slightly chapped lips. He gave a pacified moan when Gamzee returned his affection, hands gripping the back of his slender and strong neck before they explored their way down his back and around his ribcage to his chest. His face was flushed red, as opposed to Gamzee's ever calm only slightly-indigo flushed face. Gamzee removed himself to plant kisses down along Karkat's neck, his own hand soothing down his flat stomach and up his shirt to feel his soft skin.

Karkat shuddered at the touch, and grabbed Gamzee's arm, looking him in the eye once more. "Gamzee...wait..." Gamzee was now -dying- to do more, but he took his hand back and pulled his head from Karkat's neck to look at him. Karkat caught his breath and his eyes fluttered up at the clown, hand going to his cheek gently. "...I...I..." he swallowed. Gamzee soothed him gently, forehead against his. "I won't go any motherfucking further, bro. If you don't want me to." Karkat was flustered and red and he looked at him. "I -do- want you to go further, you fucking flesh light." He then looked aside. "...I just...don't...want to be...um..." he cleared his throat and mumbled. "Penetrated."

Gamzee's eyes widened again and he was bright purple this time around. He nodded, and smiled a bit. "So...you want me to up and touch you and kiss you?" Karkat nodded, not looking at his best friend. Gamzee grinned. "I'm fuckin' down with that." He pushed up Karkat's shirt, and started kissing his flat stomach. This sent heat up Karkat's spine and he groaned a bit, watching his roommate going lower and lower on him. Gamzee's fingers finally found the waistband to Karkat's pajama pants, and slowly tugged them down. His fingers soothed over his boxer shorts, promptly finding Karkat's flesh in the slitted shorts. Karkat jolted and moaned, wanting to close his legs so desperately. He was seriously paranoid about that type of shit. Gamzee looked to him, before going back to tugging the boxer off slowly.

Karkat didn't stop him. In fact, he was just watching, his eyes heated over from his bright red face. His boxers were now to his knees, and he lay there exposed. He was twitching harshly, the tip flushed red, and quickly, Gamzee took him into his palm and kissed the slit. Karkat was a flushed dumb-founded fool at this point in time. Why oh why did Gamzee have to be so gentle on him? Why did he enjoy this? This was wrong on some sort of level, he was sure of it. But at this point, his mind was melting at the sight and feeling of being touched in the most intimate of ways. He writhed under Gamzee, who kept a firm hand on him to calm him and keep him still, and whimpered his name softly. The clown's tongue slipped under the bottom of Karkat's throbbing cock and slipped him into his mouth, his fingers holding the base of him softly but securely.

The only light on now was the faint glow of the green glow stick Gamzee had been fussing with earlier. It illuminated Gamzee's bobbing and sucking just enough for Karkat to see. Even so, Karkat's eyes were pressed closed and he was moaning too loud to hear any noise he was making. He gasped for breath and looked down at his roommate to watch for a bit. He grunted, feeling submissive yet dominant as an odd mix at the same time. He reached forward and gripped the slightly curved horns of the Capricorn, and guided him along at a pace he so desired. Gamzee went with it, eyes closing as he hummed around the flesh. Gamzee pulled off without Karkat's permission, and stared at him as he swiveled his tongue around the throbbing tip. Oh that image alone could send Karkat over the edge.

The gleam of the glow stick was slowly dying and Karkat's breathing was becoming more labored. The green light reflected itself into those capricious eyes and slowly died as the room went pitch black, save for some slights of light through the blinds that were casted from the street light outside. Once in silent darkness, Gamzee opened his mouth and took Karkat deep into his throat, cupping him like a prize and squeezing. He gave a loud, hard suck, and Karkat cried out, his insides now a melted puddle of heat. He was so close it wasn't realistic. He tried to warn Gamzee, but something told him Gamzee knew.

Karkat's muscles tightened and he bucked his hips forward, gripping his roommate's hair as he cried out with reckless abandon. The clown simply pushed forward into his pelvis, and drank, his eyes closed lovingly.

When Karkat fell back to earth, heaving and panting, Gamzee pulled off and took one last gulp before kissing the messy length beneath him, sending a shudder throughout his best friend's system. He had some on his cheek, and had a very pleased expression on his face as he climbed up to hug Karkat's face into his chest. "You all motherfucking good now, bro?" Karkat couldn't help but feel guilty once he heard Gamzee's voice. He had just...and then...but where...he looked up and faintly saw the remnants dripping down Gamzee's lips. He jolted and slapped his chest. "GAMZEE YOU DID NOT SWALLOW THAT."

Gamzee laughed and rubbed the spot he had been hit. "What was I supposed to do, let the wicked shit get all over you?" He licked his fingers and sucked the tips, humming. "Taste pretty motherfucking good to me." Karkat hid his face in the juggalo's chest, the heat of his blush transferring to the skin he found there. "You are a goddamned moron for -liking- the taste of that horrid shit." Gamzee shrugged and kissed his scalp. "As long as you feel fucking better, bro. It don't motherfucking matter." Karkat nodded and sighed. "...I...do feel better. Thank you Gamzee." he puzzled a bit. "But...wait...are...are you gonna be OK? I mean...I didn't do much for you..."

The taller troll grinned. "Don't you even worry about me. I'll be alright I just gotta take a hasty retreat to the motherfucking lavatory." He slipped out of Karkat's grasp, stretching a bit, before sliding off the bed. He walked the short distance to the bathroom, stepping on a horn on his way there. This caused him to fly backwards and hit the wall. "AAAH MOTHERFUCKING-" he realized what it was, then laughed, picking up the horn and nuzzling it. "I love you too, man." Before tossing it aside and heading in the bathroom.

The light from the only room in their studio apartment illuminated Gamzee's body for a brief second, and...Karkat felt immensely shitty. He could -see- that Gamzee was...well... "worked up". If that's how you wanted to put it. He rolled on his side. Gamzee didn't even ask Karkat to do anything to him. So. He shouldn't feel bad, right? Even if he shouldn't, it didn't prevent him from feeling so. He was a little nervous about handling Gamzee like that, but...after that display, Karkat would let Gamzee do whatever he so wished to him.

He was flushed, panting, and gripping the load gaper's top as if his very life depended on it. He had missed the water, and now purple genetic fluid was all over the toilet lid and seat, some even on the floor. He pushed off the porcelain to lean against the wall, his head falling back and his eyes going shut. He shuddered, his breath failing to catch. He swallowed once, before he peered down at the mess. "Aw man...what the fuck." He waited for his legs to stabilize before he put himself away and started cleaning up his mess. No use in even flushing the damn thing. He thought his aim was better than this. But hey...he was really fired up, so he'd just chalk it up to that.

When he left the bathroom and shut off the light, Karkat was sprawled out and looking up at him, numbly playing with the little dead glow stick that lay beside him. Gamzee simply smiled and headed back over, kicking a bike horn out of the way as he did so. He climbed into bed and stretched out, looking over at Karkat. "...what is up, my brother?"

Karkat gave a slight grunt. "You...swallowed." The juggalo nodded, confused. "Yyyeah. A motherfuckin' while ago. Why, was I not supposed to?" Karkat shook his head, giving up the argument, and kicked both lap tops aside to cuddle up into Gamzee's arms. "What the fuck ever. Good night Gamzee."

Gamzee blinked a bit at the sudden affection, and smirked, wrapping his arms around the shorter, grumpier troll. He was tired, but not tired enough. "Good night Karkat." He dismissed his roommate, before tangling his fingers into his hair. The scruffier troll was grumbling slightly before the soothing motions of the juggalo set him to sleep. The bard of rage watched over the knight of blood until the early hours of the morning, entranced by his sleep. Karkat Vantas, sleeping. He never thought he'd see that again. It was a motherfucking miracle. And soon, the bard would follow the knight into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The early morning lights glistened through the slants of a pair of cheap blinds. Two boys lay sprawled out on a queen sized mattress, the shorter of the two gets the blunt end of the lights, the soft brightness going straight into his eyes. Hes deeply perturbed by this. He shifts to push himself up, and rubs his eyes, unable to fall back asleep. He looks to his roommate, who has his head right where the window's light can't reach. _Fucking__figures._

He then recalls last nights events, and understands the source of his headache. He groans, and hops up, going into the designated kitchen area of their studio apartment. He had to move a bit quickly, his roommate's schedule for work was early today. He didn't like to think of himself as unemployed and living off of his best friend's graciousness, but thats exactly what was going on. He opens one of the two mini-fridges, hardly enough to house all the booze and faygo and food they had between them, but real refrigerators were expensive. He grabbed a pan of sopor slime, retching at it a little, before covering it and sticking it into the microwave.

Thinking about being useless made him feel...like he had always felt. The least he could do was make his roommate's life a little easier. Its not that he wasn't -looking- for a job, its just...well. His charming personality always seemed to put a premature end to everything. He'd thought about attending college, and thats what John wanted him to do, but he didn't have -any- sort of money for a formal education. Or any sort of education.

The microwave beeps three separate times, and he has to be quick to retrieve the slime before he woke up Gamzee. He hears the mop-headed troll stir, and hes caught in his steps. He peers over at him, heart in his throat, and watches as the bard simply scratches his stomach, and rolls over to get comfortable. He breathes a sigh of relief, and closes the mircowave quietly. Jegus, Gog, Larry, and Brosef. Couldn't be too careful. Without his sopor slime, Gamzee became something of inconceivable horror. That is the only reason Karkat would allow slime into his home, to save his life and everyone else's. And after conforming to life on this planet the human kids had made, it seemed that sopor slime was slightly more plentiful, and less needed by the trolls other than Gamzee.

Karkat took the heated slime and set it on the night stand carefully, before going to get some Faygo to pour in a glass. When he returned, he saw Gamzee, sitting straight up, hunched over and staring at nothing. He felt his legs freeze once he caught a glimpse of that lackluster stare. His alarm didn't go off. Why is he awake? He shouldn't be awake. He had to keep moving, though. He pushed on through the fear to set the drink down on the window sill, and grabbed the pan full of slime, offering it to him. "I made you breakfast, dim-fuck."

Gamzee's hands found the pan, and his eyes stared into the sludge. His scarred face was frowning, and his eyes were starting to fill with rage. One eyebrow arched far upon his forehead, and his lip curled gently, his tongue flickering behind pointed teeth. His fingers rubbed and scratched against the thin pan, seemingly agitated, yet thoughtful. Karkat's eyes were trained on the bard, because he knew if he'd look away for one second, the capricorn would likely find a way to elude him and his breakfast, and slip into the dark carnival. A shine of humanity enters his eyes for a split second, and he downs the slime without a second thought. Karkat breathes a sigh of relief to himself as the slime almost immediately takes an effect at slowing his roommate's chaotic mind.

Gamzee blinked blearily a few times, before reaching his hand into the pan and shoveling the slime into his mouth, a content smile on his face. Karkat rolled his eyes. "If you're gonna do that at least try and use a fucking spoon. Thats why we have them you know. I didn't buy them because the goddamned earth flea-market was gonna explode if I didn't." He left the bed to let Gamzee finish eating, who seemed a bit more dopey after the slime was ingested. Karkat stood in the kitchen and checked his phone for the time. The clock on the stove and microwave always flashed "12:00" since neither of them knew how to change it. He frowned a bit.

"You said you had to be at work at what time today?" He asked out loud, but not turning his head. He heard the clown yawn loudly and he rolled his eyes. "Man I am not motherfuckin' graceful when I sleep, y'know?" The taller troll popped a few joints and rolled his neck to try and get the crick out of it. "I musta fuckin' slept on my arm or somethin' cause motherfucker it is -DEAD- to the fuckin' world." He grinned, suddenly feeling the mirthful muse overtake his system. "The pins and needles I feel in my arm, go as far as my heart, and you know that its...hard for me to know where to start, to ask questions. Asking questions? Why the fuck you gotta ask? Understand, brother, the sensation I'm communicatin', can only be described as _miracles._ Mother-fucking-miracles."

Karkat groaned as he poured himself some orange juice. "Thats FUCKING great you flimsy-fucking dick-waffle. I'm SO GLAD you know how to beat yourself in a rapping battle. That is the ONE skill I was afraid you'd never pass. Now can I get a bumper sticker that says "My roommate's a fucking fuckass"? Now answer my question before I pour some of this OJ into your fucking blood stream. FUCK." Gamzee grinned as his buddy went on a little tirade.

He scratched behind one of his slightly curved horns before sliding out of bed, taking the glass of soda with him to the kitchen. "Time is it?"

"Its seven forty-five."

"...shit I gotta motherfucking get my shower on, bro." The taller troll ruffled his friend's hair and tranced off to the bathroom. Karkat facepalmed a bit. "Mother fucker never answers my goddamned questions." Karkat headed over to the dresser, stepping on yet -another- one of those goddamned ridiculous bike horns. He jolted a bit, but didn't make a sound, and heard Gamzee yell from the bathroom like he had stepped on it. This warrants a 2x facepalm combo for the Cancer troll. When the water started running, Karkat begrudgingly kicked the bike horn out of the way, pounded his fist on the dresser top, and opened the drawer. _How__could__I__not__have__fucking__seen__that__stupid__horn__in__broad__goddamned__daylight__I__am__such__a__mother__fucking__tool._

He had a right mind to cuss Gamzee out for these horns, but they seemed to make him happy. And he was the only source of income, so he had no room to ask for anything. He slipped out of his pajama pants and boxers, traded them for new pairs each, and started searching for his characteristic Cancer-sign shirt. "Fuck...fuck...where...what? Where is...? I don't... Fuck!" It must have been dirty. He glanced around the one-room apartment and saw it in the corner by the TV. He groans and goes over to retrieve it, shaking it off a bit. Yeah, it had cheetoh crumbs and lint all over it. Not wearing that today unless he wanted to look like some sort of douchebag or be _ironic_. But all efforts on being ironic are horribly wasted on Karkat.

He was digging through clothes when the water from the shower stopped, and he heard Gamzee padding out of the bathroom. At that right instant, the alarm on Karkat's phone went off. The scruffy troll grabbed it and silenced it, staring over at Gamzee. "You're early." And thats about all he could get out. Gamzee stood before him, naked as a jaybird, drying his hair out with the towel and dripping water onto the floor. The scar-faced troll tied his hair into the towel above his head and puckered his lips, leaning against the doorframe.

"...the fuck are you doing." Not even ten o'clock and Gamzee was up to his bullshit.

"Motherfucker don't you know my motherfucking name is Gam-kwi-kwi?" And he snapped his fingers around the air in a sassy fashion. Yeah. He was fucking with Karkat. This display caused Karkat's eye to twitch and the rest of himself to feel highly uncomfortable. What the hell was earth culture teaching him? The edge of Karkat's lip twitched, like something inside him wanted to smile, wanted to laugh at this horrendous display. But thats fucking absurd. He shook it off and leered at his stupid friend. "You look like a wet duffel bag of dog shit just got its nails done."

Gamzee grinned widely and headed over to him, grasping his shoulders. "Where the shit did that motherfucker just go?" And he scanned Karkat's face as if he lost his car keys or something like that. Karkat's nose wrinkled and he pushed Gamzee's hands from his shoulders, crossing his arms over his bare chest and he backed up a bit. "The fuck did what just go? Why aren't you focused on clothing yourself?" He scowled, baring his teeth a bit. "Get that towel off your head and get dressed before you're late."

Gamzee held up his hand, and counted one finger. "First, motherfucker, you said I was early." He then took the towel off his head and tossed it on the floor carelessly, going to the dresser. "Two!" He held up two fingers, looking over his shoulder at the other. "You were about to crack a smile." Gamzee swayed his hips as he started looking for his work clothes. Karkat fumbled and grunted and made an incomprehensible noise.

"You're a fucking stoner." Gamzee bobbed his head as he went back to searching for his clothes. "Do not change the motherfucking subject."

Karkat facepalmed yet again, and went over to fix himself something to eat in the kitchen. He turned his head to watch his roommate just the slightest and had to do a double-take. A sneaky double-take. Gamzee had some ink on his hip, but with how much Gamzee swayed when he was looking for clothes, it was hard to get a grip on what it was. When did he get -that-? It looked to be a circle and...the realization suddenly became all too clear.

It was Tavros's symbol. His eyes went wide and he felt his heart sink into his stomach as the other troll slipped on some boxers. He pretended he didn't see anything when Gamzee looked up, grin still prevalent on his face. "Bro, confess. I motherfuckin' had you. Just can't get enough of the Gam-kwi-kwi." The clown-faced boy sighed. "S'allright. She breaks many hearts in her time." And his eyes got all soulful as he stared off. "All in the quest to find out what is in her own."

"...you're a nut sniffer." Karkat then turned back to get himself a poptart out of the bread box and start eating. It was slightly stale, but it was still good. Everything in this apartment is slightly stale.


	3. Chapter 3

He had no idea how long he had been asleep.

Judging by the show that was on the television, a really long time.

Seeing how it wasn't Oprah or even Trollprah, it was probably night time.

One thing had never changed for Karkat; his lack of dreams. He didn't know whether or not to be thankful for this either. Judging by the fact that he couldn't melt the image of Tavros's symbol out of his mind, it was probably a good thing.

He sat on their couch, which was originally bought for twelve dollars at some local thrift store, curled up in blankets. It simulated a cocoon to him, a comfort that was now foreign and unheard of. His eyes were trained on the screen, which was some sort of prime-time gripping documentary. Something about diseases that humans contracted, like elephantitis. He wrinkled his nose, but couldn't for the life of him pull his eyes away.

_Why are humans so interested in repulsive things like this? It makes no sense! Its like they WANT their offspring to be mutated and-_

The thought jerked him a bit. Wanting your child to be mutated. He bit his lip in thought. Maybe that's not why this sort of programming existed at all. He couldn't imagine human parents pining for a child like him. Mutated, angry with the world, filled with doubt.

Slowly, Karkat pushed himself from the couch, unraveling the blankets from his body, and leaned into the kitchen. His hair was a wreck, his stomach was growling, and he was completely torn to pieces about that one single tattoo. He needed support, but wasn't about to ask for it. His troubled mind toyed with the idea of who he'd even go to for a ear to vent to when his eyes caught sight of the time on the oven.

Twelve. Midnight.

Gamzee had been gone all day.

He had slept since Gamzee left.

His gut churned with pain. Pain from accomplishing absolutely nothing, a whole day wasted. Pain from the fact that he was flipping out over a tattoo that could simply stand for friendship that would never be the same, while Gamzee was obliviously working his ass off to support himself and his best friend who couldn't find a job. All that was expected of Karkat was for him to mind the apartment, and he wasted a whole day of duties.

_Some fucking friend I am._

Self loathing washed over Karkat's psyche as he quickly flung himself forward to throw a dinner together for Gamzee. What did they have? Pop tarts, spaghetti, green beans, and tuna. …fartface will love it.

Or Gam-kwi-kwi. Whatever.

Karkat made spaghetti with mayonnaise and tuna, an absolute abomination of an attempt only botched further by his shitty cooking ability. When he glanced at the clock, another half hour had drained by. His heart sank. They were never gonna let Gamzee leave. He sighed in an irritated fashion, and poured out some Faygo and prepared sopor slime to pour over his absolute trainwreck of cuisine.

Another half hour and Karkat was beginning to think Gamzee had gotten mugged or some shit. He stared out the window like a puppy, wrapped in his thousand blankets. The sopor-spaghetti-bullshit was starting to smell, and it was no longer warm. He hadn't eaten any of it.

Would you?

Didn't think so.

Before he could hate life much further, he spotted the buffoon in question. He sighed, almost in relief. He unwrapped himself from his cocoon just as soon as Gamzee fell through the door. He reeked of garlic bread and olives, which kind of hit Karkat's nose like perfume compared to the mayonnaise and tuna that floated through their small studio apartment. He stepped over the exhausted troll, grabbed the saucer of slime and guano, and plopped it down in front of Gamzee's arms, that were outstretched to catch himself from the fall, but had failed miserably.

Without saying a word, he pulled Gamzee's legs up from the front "Fuck off" mat, closed the door and locked it, before heading back to the bed to lay down. He watched Gamzee catch his breath for about fifteen more minutes, before he stood again and brought him some red faygo.

Gamzee gripped the soda with what little vigor he had left, rolled his head to the side and laughed.

"Thanks, bro. I knew I could count on you."

With that, Karkat's pain of failure subsided softly. He rested his cheek in his palm as he watched Gamzee drink.

"Whatever. Eat your slop." He had to work to hide the fact that he'd been flipping out for the past few hours.

"Motherfuckin' yum."

And Gamzee downed that abomination like he'd never seen food before in his life. Karkat grimaced at the sight, unable to take him seriously after this, but it was endearing. Disgustingly endearing. In every sense of the phrase.

He stood to go lay back on the bed, keeping his eye on Gamzee. When the bard finished, he quickly scrambled to his feet and undressed swiftly, standing in his boxers alone.

"Work was motherfuckin' hell. " Karkat's eyes were fixed on his frame, and he grumbled as he bit his lip. The confidence Gamzee radiated pissed him off. Even at one in the morning when most people are naked anyway. Breaking Karkat's concentration was Gamzee climbing onto the bed to flop on top of him, to which he loudly protested.

"NO NO NONONONONO NOT WHILE YOU SMELL LIKE STRAWBERRY SHARK SHIT NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING OH GOG GAMZEE ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW-" And all Gamzee could do was motorboat the hell out of Karkat's chest, sending him even further into a rage. "I DON'T HAVE LUSCIOUS TITS, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING LOON. SERIOUSLY YOU'RE MAKING US BOTH LOOK LIKE BULGEHOLES, PLEASE WILL YOU FUCKING QUIT. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS SACRED-"

Gamzee laughed openly as he snuggled into Karkat. "Yo bro I am motherfuckin' beat." His fingers wrapped themselves lazily in Karkat's short, choppy strands. That quickly quieted the knight, who bit his lip and bided his words. He sighed in an irritated fashion, who pushed his head into the touch. "Whatever. Just. No kiss." His eyes became disturbed and confused. "Why am I telling you to not kiss me?"

"We've done worse." Gamzee replied with a grin, staring at Karkat's horns. Karkat fumbled and grabbed Gamzee's ponytail, untying it hastily. Gamzee giggled. "I've done a whoooole lot worse to you, motherfucker."

"I'm not having this conversation with you Gamzee."

"Its happening."

"No its NOT."

"Honk."

"NO."

And without much to think about, Gamzee grinned, and kissed Karkat smack dab on the lips. Karkat fought and wriggled and

_OH GOD WHY DOES THIS TASTE SO AWFUL. WHY WOULD I MAKE THIS FOR HIM I REALLY MUST HATE THIS FUCKER._

He pulled off Gamzee's lips and just stared at him. "I DON'T KNOW WHY I CONTINUE LIVING WITH YOU, YOU NOOKSMACKING TITSNIFFER." Gamzee's eyes were off in space again, so he knew the big guy wasn't listening. This sort of cut his tirade short. He grumbled, wiping the slime off his lips and pushing Gamzee to lay on his side. "Just go to sleep, dumbass." He couldn't for the life of him get the taste of sopor slime off his lips. It tasted awful, yet the fumes were enough to calm his mind. At least from the horrid taste of tuna salad spaghetti, not from Gamzee's shenanigans.

Gamzee's arm flopped onto Karkat's stomach lazily as he stared up into those enraged, tired eyes. "So what did you do today bro?" Karkat sighed at the question. He knew Gamzee was just inquiring out of caring about his friend, and not because he was antagonizing Karkat's lack of success. The total failure of an adult shrugged and looked to Gamzee.

"Nothing really. I was supposed to go grocery shopping today but fuck it all I forgot." He scratched the bridge of his nose while Gamzee's fingers drummed on the surface of his stomach. "I'll get it done tomorrow." Gamzee perked.

"And I'll come with you! So you don't have to up and write a list. It'll be like a motherfuckin' adventure." And Gamzee's gaze was off in deep space again. Karkat wrinkled his nose slightly. He couldn't imagine doing anything so domestic with the idiot. And the fact that he was referring to it as 'a motherfuckin' adventure' gave hint to the sort of things he should expect from such an endeavor.

"….I can get it done by myself. You should just stay home and relax, since I know you're gonna be in for another twelve hour shift as soon as you head back to work again." Gamzee laughed.

"Life's too motherfuckin' short, Karkat."

"Especially for you, Gamzee." And he patted his roommate's head. "Double for you." Gamzee replied with a laugh and "probably." before messing with his pillow and curling up beside his friend, probably the last close friend he had.

Karkat's mind toyed with the idea of asking Gamzee what they were now. All the mixed signals he was getting from the Capricorn wasn't helping either. The tattoo, what he did last night, all he does for Karkat with getting little in return, and the fact that he hasn't tried doing more to him or even asked. Or even that fishy flavored kiss he received earlier. His mind fumed when he thought about it for too long. Karkat was a man who needed answers, closure. He figured Gamzee would be the same but the slime must have messed him up something fierce and turned him into a complacent dope. He sighed and spoke up.

"Gamzee, I gotta ask you something."

No response.

When he looked over, Gamzee was curled up around his stomach and waist, leg flopped over Karkat's and he was already snoring lightly. The sound that emanated from him started off soft, but began growing in strength. His tongue lapped over his lips and sharp teeth numbly, his fingers grasping at the air as if he were a dreaming woofbeast.

_Well that fucking figures._

Any other day he'd fight the troll awake to ask him, but Gamzee had tried so hard today to just stay awake and working for Karkat's sanity and welfare that he couldn't be bothered with something so trivial. He rolled his eyes and slid down on his side, wrapping his arms around Gamzee's head and hiding his face in the tangle of raven-hued hair. His fingers messed with the scalp he hid in, finding comfort in the waves and soft curls that were slightly warm from heated work all day.

He smelled awful.

But he couldn't process the smell, only the warmth and security he felt when Gamzee's arms wrapped around him. Karkat took over as protector, watching over Gamzee while he slept to make sure nothing bad would happen to him. He remembered Tavros in that instant. He remembered Equius, Nepeta, Eridan, and Feferi. For that moment alone he remembered everyone he had lost. He sighed sadly, clenching Gamzee's being in his short fingers.

"You're a fucking idiot. And I'm the bigger one."

Whatever they were, regardless, it was meant to be.


	4. Chapter 4

Warmth and a hue of grey surrounded him, enveloping him in a hazy embrace.

Without warning, the warmth grew in capacity, taking form as it wrapped itself around him. He felt safe, secure. A feeling he hadn't had for a while, not since he left Alternia. The comfort felt familiar, piquing his interest. His eyes slid open ever so slightly to catch a sight of the raven black locks of a familiar face. He immediately tried to pull away, but his body betrayed him underneath the slightly chapped lips that claimed patches of his platinum skin.

He shuddered, and allowed more attention, rolling onto his back to tangle his fingers between the curved horns of Gamzee, eyeing him softly. He had no idea what the idiot was up to, but he wasn't being obnoxious as usual and his own mind was turbulent and full of need for comfort. Those eyes found his, and Gamzee pushed himself up onto his elbows to offer a smile. Karkat wouldn't smile back. Gamzee would understand.

The deep indigo hues seemed off in space as usual, but with a strange hint of focus on Karkat's figure. Instead of making him uncomfortable like everyone else, that ten thousand yard stare made Karkat feel certain, secure. That sounded absolutely absurd and he knew it. So as long as he never admitted it to anyone, he'd be safe. He placed one hand on the bard's painted cheek and tugged on a few strands of his slightly curled hair, pursing his lips in thought. He could feel Gamzee's heart in his chest, just as intensely as he could feel his own. He wanted to feel Gamzee kiss him again, but wouldn't ask.

Gamzee read the cancer troll's pulse, with his fingers over his chest tracing him softly. His own chaotic mind flooded with ideas, most of them being needs that he planned on showing Karkat. Kat's face flushed red softly but his breathing remained steady as his eyes stared at the bard's soft actions. Yet again it wasn't even ten a.m. and Gamzee was up to his bullshit. This was different, however.

Karkat stretched, what muscle he did have flexing and tensing underneath the highblood. His silver skin gave off a sheen in the dim sunlight, every detail and dip of his body accentuated by the warmth of light. Sufficiently enticed, Gamzee leaned in to kiss Karkat's shoulders, wiggling his way between the knight's legs. Karkat jumped at the forwardness of the movement, and was about to fight him off, but when his hands found Gamzee's shoulders their lips collided.

Gamzee literally took his breath away, and it was one of the most wonderful experiences Karkat had ever experienced in his short, turbulent life.

He melted almost instantaneously, and pushed everything he had into Gamzee. Just then he could feel Gamzee throbbing against him, muscles rippling with need and chest pounding with hunger. The amount of heat and desire he felt radiating from the bard was immense, almost too much for him to handle. It was no foreign fact that Gamzee was capable of power beyond measure, but when it was focused on something like _this_….it made Karkat go numb from the idea of it.

He pressed himself against Gamzee's throbbing length, pulling his lips from the highblood to stare into his eyes. The sensation of throbbing together caused Gamzee to gnash his teeth, hips quivering with suspense. He made some low growling noises under his throat, that almost sounded like a bestial purr. He had never seen Gamzee so anxious, it made him almost nervous. He panted underneath Gamzee's slender throat, nibbling on his adam's apple and wiping his tongue over it. Gamzee's odd growling noises gave way to a whimper, his head dropping as his shoulders shuddered. He desperately seeked out Karkat's flesh for his lips to touch, but instead he found his ear and nibbled on it softly.

Karkat no longer felt nervous, but instead he felt in control. That in itself gave him a high he never imagined possible. In control of the bard of rage. He faded any sign of doubt he may have had, and slid Gamzee's boxers down his thighs, the silk material tickling his skin on the way down. Gamzee panted softly, exposed and rubbing against Karkat's still confined erection, smearing his boxers with his purple hued precum.

Karkat looked down between Gamzee's legs, eyelids heavy and his appetite whetted. And acting as his true self, that lacked a single shy bone in his own body, he reached between them to grab Gamzee by his base, thumb teasing underneath him. He was warm to the touch, and somewhat thick. Slowly he played with Gamzee's cock, teasing the oozing slit with his thumb, burgundy eyes gazing up at him while his lips peppered kisses on his neck.

Gamzee gave moans of relief, pushing his hips into Karkat's touch. His head dropped and his eyes closed, rolling his hips into Karkat's grasp and further smearing himself along his fingertips and stomach. Between shudders, he himself reached down to pull Karkat out of the slit in his boxers, and quickly pumped him into his palm. Karkat gasped and groaned, legs spreading further for him to continue his attentions. He felt like a whore, and for some reason the indecency made him hotter.

He found himself thrusting into Gamzee's hand, his own fingers slick and soft from handling Gamzee's bucking. Curiously, he reached between Gamzee's thighs and grabbed the low hanging flesh he found there. Gamzee gave a jolt and a high pitched gasp, and his face was immediately flushed completely purple. Karkat couldn't hold back a toothy grin at finally getting Gamzee caught in a vulnerable spot. Some sort of sadistic part of him had waited for this for a long, immeasurable amount of time.

But instead of taking advantage of Gamzee's submissive expression and behavior, he simply covered his neck in kisses, tongue lavishing the skin between his pointed teeth. He caught a glimpse of Gamzee's expression, his head tilted back, mouth wide open and eyes shut with his eyebrows knitted upwards. He was making noises Karkat didn't know he could make.

His chest rose and fell with lust, and he moved his hand faster along Gamzee's pounding, heaving flesh. Gamzee's head fell into Karkat's shoulder. The knight of blood leaned into Gamzee's lowered shoulder, eyes closing as he huffed, he could feel the anxiety pooling in his stomach, travelling lower than his navel. He groaned into Gamzee's ear, the big male's arm wrapping behind Kat's head to grip his scalp intensely. His hips cringed and his teeth clenched. Gamzee's breathing was erratic, desperate. One last breath escaped Gamzee's lips, and it was a plead.

"Karkat."

And they both saw white.

Gamzee's body quivered and shook, his muscles loose and limp, his brain numb and pooling between his ears. His breath would not catch in his chest or throat, and his vision was blurred for a moment in between. When it cleared he gazed down at Karkat, whose head was turned to the side. He was gasping incessantly, his body limp, one arm strewn beside him. He flushed as he saw that he had hit Karkat in the throat and on his cheek with his genetic fluid. Karkat seemed too far-gone to even care.

He put all his weight on one arm to mess with Karkat's sweaty hair, the other male quickly grunting at the attention and shaking his head, tilting his head back. He shivered softly as the liquid trailed down his face, and he shook his head again. He grumbled.

"Fuckin' shit Gamzee, you can't aim that thing any better?"

Gamzee fell on his side, grinning like a moron, before rolling onto his back.

"Uhh….fuck…umm…where is….mother…fucking….shirt….." he searched beyond the bedpost and found an old shirt of his. He quickly handed it to Karkat and nodded. "Go…go ahead…wipe…wipe." His mind was in a thousand different places, and forming a simple sentence was already hard enough for Gamzee without the added stimulation.

Karkat watched him fumble, before taking the shirt and wiping off his entire being. He shuddered. It was disgusting, but he really didn't mind being covered in it. He threw the shirt aside, and stared at the ceiling for a good twenty minutes, collecting his thoughts.

Luckily he had Gamzee there to sum it all up.

"Bro….you grabbed my motherfuckin' balls."

Author's note: OMG I am so sorry It took me until now to update! So much crap has been going down on my end, I've really been meaning to write more and omggggg. ;_; Please take this porn as an apology. I love the reviews I get, they're all so helpful and wonderful! I seriously didn't even expect the nice feedback I'm getting. I'm glad you guys like it so far I promise next chapter will have PLOT. Stay classy, internet. :D


	5. Chapter 5

"AH- **CHOO**."

"Jesus Christ do you ever think of covering your mouth with you arm when you sneeze? Y'know, closing up the wind tunnel?"

"Thanks bro."

"...I didn't say bless you. Were you even listening."

"Mm hm. Thats just the way you say it. Ahfcuk AHFU-AH...**CHOO**."

"GOD DAMN IT GAMZEE WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST GET DONE TELLING YOU? FUCKIN DICKBATS IS IT THAT HARD TO SNEEZE IN YOUR ARM OR SOME SHIT?"

"Honk."

"WHY DO I EVEN- ...no y'know what fuck you here's a tissue for your issue."

And he chucked a box of tissues at Gamzee's face.

The capricorn sniffled and took one, blowing his nose. His eyes were watery and his nose was runny and hued purple under the skin form rubbing it raw. He was dressed in dark clothes, tripp pants lined with purple, his purple converse, a black shirt with a mexican sugar skull on it, and his hair tied back from his face. His face paint was smeared lightly from constant rubbing and sneezing. He gurgled unhappily, head haniging backward, his hand going to touch the kart filled with groceries.

Karkat jolted, tugging the cart from his hand. "HEY NOW. I know it sucks being sick, so you should probably keep your mitts off the cart and the food. I don't wanna get sick either." He grumbled a bit as his companion honked again. He rolled his eyes and kept going. He was dressed in a long sleeved black Gorillaz t-shirt, accompanied by ripped jeans littered with anarchy and punk band patches. His legs were bound in combat boots that remained forever untied, aligned with spikes of random sizes, and his messy bedhead was contained by a red Deadmau5 peruvian beanie.

They were quite the sight. These two.

Gamzee's face gave the dopiest grin as he looked over at Karkat.

"Well ain't we just the most domestic of motherfuckers today?" he snorted at his own observation as Karkat seemed too interested in comparative price shopping. The red blooded troll shook his head. "I mean look at us, all up and doin' chores and shit. We may as well be tying up this frivolous mirth with some sort of- oh daMN." He wandered off, not even bothering to finish his sentence.

"...tying up this what with what." Karkat asked emptily, staring at labels. "Finish your sentences." He finalized in his mind, and grabbed a package of steak to toss it into the kart. He looked around, and found he was by himself. He sighed agitatedly and shoved the kart off to search for Gamzee.

Gamzee stood in front of an entire row of cereal. All the colors mesmerized him, his fingers dragging by his sides. He took a minute and tapped his lower lip, pondering. Karkat figured he'd find him in this row. The idiot. He grumped as he shuffled over to stand beside him.

"Just take a box of Trix."

"Holy motherfuckin' shit thats a lot of colors."

He drummed his fingers against the hand rest of his kart, sighing as he waited for Gamzee to make up his mind. His gaze drifted and he jumped a bit to see a familiar face.

John was on the opposite end of the line of cereal, staring at poptarts. He didn't have a kart, but a little basket instead. He wore a black visor beanie, a white t-shirt with some sort of internet reference on it, clean light blue denim jeans, a blue hoodie, and flip flops. Yes flip flops. John must have thrown the outfit on this morning. It really matched his personality perfectly. Karkat puzzled for a moment, before being interrupted by Gamzee dumping two armfuls of cereal boxes in the kart.

"Yo look at all these motherfuckin'-"

"NO. Gamzee. Put them back."

"I wish I could bro. I really wish I cou- AH-**CHOO**."

"WE LITERALLY CAN NOT-"

"Hey guys! Didn't even see you there!"

_FUCK._

__"Oh, hello there John. Didn't notice you either." Karkat shuffled a bit, leering at Gamzee for blowing his cover. Gamzee was off in space again, so it didn't even matter. John laughed a bit.

"Wow I guess grocery shopping would be kind of weird for you guys, huh? How are you taking to it?" He inquired casually. John was always pretty friendly, if not a bit of a trickster. Though his friendliness could be misinterpreted as naivete. Karkat shrugged.

"Meh. Seeing how when my lusus would bring back food I didn't have to expel much energy, I'd suppose its the same. Except money is involved this time around." He looked at John's little hand basket. "...still buying food for yourself? Why doesn't Dave help out?"

"Cause Dave is always working." He shrugged. "Its not that he doesn't help, its just the fact that hes never home. That and he buys all his own food too, but its mostly apple juice, doritos, and those little dollar pizzas."

"Whereas you're freezer dinners and poptarts."

"Eeeexactly! Just two bachelors trying to keep scraping along." He smiled a bit. "I'm still pushing along in school, though. Man I never thought I'd actually make it to college. Especially not after everything thats happened. It feels a little...mundane. Y'know? After all the...world creating, supervillain fighting, ancient wars, apocalypse rising..."

"I've no idea what you're blabbering about John. My life is more exciting now than its ever been in the history of ever. And that is quite a long fucking time, if you do recall, John. What with all the time shenanigans we were a part of. In fact my daily battle involves this animal right here." And he motioned to Gamzee, who was now eating Fruit Loops out of the box. "And as you can imagine, that gets pretty draining. I dare say hes more terrifying than Bec Noir and English combined."

"Damn these shits hurt after a while."

John and Karkat both took this moment to stare at Gamzee. Blankly.

John laughed and shook his head. "I get it. I know it'll be a lot for you guys to adjust to, but after a while, it starts to get sort of bearable! Even though the greatest adventure of our lives may be over, another one has yet to start, in a way."

"Damn do you sound like a cheesy 80's special."

"Whatever helps." John shrugged again, sort of apathetic towards Karkat's reaction. He smirked. "Hey man you guys are always welcome to come over and have a couple drinks with us. You know we're always down."

Karkat thought about it, and shrugged. "Suppose there are worse ways to spend an evening. I might actually take you up on that sometime."

John nodded. "Sweet! Give us a ring if you're ever in the area, alright? I'll see you guys later." And he waved, moseying along his merry way, waving to his two buddies. Karkat waved back, smirking a slight bit, before turning to continue his shopping. He stopped and stared at Gamzee in disbelief for a moment.

Apparently Gamzee was working on his second box of cereal, this one was Kix cereal. The fruit flavored kind. The doped troll sort of looked in Karkat's direction before slowly, he offered the box over to him. Karkat of course proceeded to flip his shit and smacked the box out of his hand

"WILL YOU KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS SHIT AND ITS FOUR DOLLARS A BOX I CAN'T HANDLE THIS-"

"AH- **CHOO**."

"COVER YOUR GODDAMNED MOUTH FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME YOU MOUTH BREATHER."

"Damn look at all the colors. Its so beautiful." And Gamzee hugged Karkat's frame, snuggling. "Life is beautiful."


	6. Chapter 6

_I like the sound of the broken pieces_

_I like the lights that assign where she sits_

_We got machines, but the kids got Jesus _  
><em>We like to move like we're off the name list <em>  
><em>God can't hear you, they will fight you <em>  
><em>Watch them build a friend just like you<em>

_._

Figures the one time they visit Dave and John they're having a huge fuckin' party, doesn't it.

.

Karkat was gone. The music and lights melted his stress away. He was in the middle of the floor surrounded by people he had never met, jumping in time to his music. The heat made him mist from sweat slightly, his eyes closed and his mind swimming. His system was pumped with alcohol and hazed over from the thin layer of pot smoke that intermingled with the musky air. He was under the spell of music and delirium. Picking his head up above the crowd, he could see another familiar face he had missed dearly.

This one had an 8-bit tattoo on his neck, the yellow star from mario, and checkerboard tattoos up his arms. He wore a pixelated blue tie around his neck, tight fitting black jeans, and his new retro 3D glasses. He bounced in time with the music, wide grin on his face and exposing a few of his front fangs missing. He had never seen Sollux so happy so constantly until they had gotten to their new world. The gold blooded troll looked like a puppeteer up on his pedestal clapping in time to the song, leading the mindless crowd along.

Sollux started shouting along with the lyrics, pumping his fist in the air.

.

_Girls with guns on LSD _  
><em>Self-infraction, mass destruction <em>  
><em>Programmed for the final function<em>

_Lab Rat King, Rescue team_

_Save me from the next life_

_Gimme the sound, to see _  
><em>Another world outside that's full of <em>  
><em>All the broken things that I made<em>

_Just give me a life, to plea _  
><em>Another world outside that's full of <em>  
><em>All the awful things that I made<em>

.

Off in the kitchen around the island, John, Dave, and Gamzee had their fingers pinching a shot glass full of Jagermeister against a tall pint of Red Bull. The liquids did not touch. Rose, Kanaya, and Jade had collected in the kitchen with them. Jade was flashing pictures at the scene about to unfold, while Rose was pouring herself and Kanaya drinks. Kanaya kept her attention mostly on the boys, smirking slightly. She was the only one who wore a little black party dress to the affair, the material glittering lightly in the light. Rose and Jade dressed casually, Rose in a strappy black tank top and shorts while Jade wore everything she had on her bedroom floor at the time.

The boys in question simply stared at each other, cameras flashing and somewhat distracting. Gamzee licked his lips lazily, John slightly bracing himself and staring back at him. Dave simply stared at the painted troll, shades hiding his fiery eyes, but not his determination. They each bobbed their heads in time with the beat, before Jade called out from behind her video camera-

"GO!"

Shot glasses dropped, fizzed, and clinked twice. Once against the bottom of the glass, and a second time against three different sets of teeth. The pain was worth it, as it soon proved. All three heads had been tossed backwards, and the golden-brown elixir was on its way to their gullets. John's face was pinching and squinting from the merciless flavor, his fist tightening and loosening every so often. Gamzee was gulping as much as he could, the flavor not bothering him in the slightest, sopor slime had prepared him for everything. With Dave you could never tell, but one hand was anchored onto the dark granite counter, keeping him steady as he guzzled.

All around the crowd cheered "Chug, Chug, Chug, Chug, Chug, Chug, Chug!"

Finally Dave slammed his glass down into the counter, burping loudly. The crowd cheered obnoxiously, both of his fists going into the air in triumph. He tossed his frosted blonde locks and fist pumped the air to the beat. The other party goers continued to clap and chant for the two remaining contenders to chug their drinks.

Gamzee was a narrow second, banging his glass against the hard surface and shaking his raven mane side to side. He licked and smacked his lips loudly, wide toothy grin appearing on his face as the crowd cheered louder. He slapped the hood of his jacket over his head, happy to have second place.

John pounded his glass against the counter, squinting his whole face and burping loudly. He grinned widely, eyes half lidded as he laughed loudly, shaking his head. He was amazed at Dave's capabilities, though he really shouldn't be. John tossed his hands in the air and shouted

"I'M FUCKED UP!"

This caused Gamzee to actually laugh, and he clapped his hands in appreciation. Kanaya laughed with them, and raised her martini glass to John as she took another sip against her black painted lips. The windy kid struck a pose, not caring he finished last, crowd not seeming to care either, and started bouncing around the kitchen.

"POUR ME ANOTHER SHOT."

.

After a short while, the kitchen group made their way back onto the floor. Sollux grinned widely to see them coming, and beckoned them over. The song started off slow, and the crowd stood, swaying, preparing. Kanaya swayed, wide smile on her lips as she merged into the crowd beside Rose. Dave and John seemed to stick together, John was -fighting- to keep quiet, and had that swag walk as he made his way down.

_Its been so long, I've been out of my body with you_  
><em>I feel alone, feel at home, feel like nothing is true<em>  
><em>You take me to a place where my senses gave way<em>  
><em>Turn it round, shut it down, what the people say.<em>  
><em>Climbing up, coming down, gonna give you some<em>

_Take my hand let it come, let it come, let it come..._

The break was about to start, and Gamzee pushed through the crowd to get to his roommate. He tapped his shoulder, and Karkat swung his head around to look at him blearily. He gave a little smile to see his friend beside him, and elbowed him in the gut lightly. Gamzee grinned, and shuffled to stand beside him.

_Take it back when she knows that you're doing it right_  
><em>Cuz everbody else knows what they're taking tonight<em>

They froze at the pre-breakdown, and they both jumped in the air as high as they could, leading the rest of the crowd. Karkat screamed the lyrics as loud as he could, eyes pinching shut as his body surrendered once more.

_But I - Just wanna bring it round_  
><em>We - - we're gonna get there tonight<em>

Gamzee was a sloppy dancer, even moreso when he was intoxicated, but Karkat encouraged it. He wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, and that was probably for the better. Karkat jumped in time with the music, Gamzee throwing his fist in the air and swaying it. Karkat bumped into him forcefully, and Gamzee stumbled a bit, looking down. Karkat was blazed, but had all his attention on Gamzee and was moving his body at him. He laughed at this realization and took his invitation to dance with him.

Further from them were John and Dave, seemingly getting pretty close with their bodies in the heat of the smoke and bass. John was dancing like an asshole in the first half of the song, but started getting those amorous looks in his eyes as Dave worked the Strider charm on him, eyeing him over his dark shades. The Heir of Breath appeared dazed, grasping the Knight of Blood's arm and moving its way up to his shoulder and pushing their hips to grudge against each other. Dave eyed him like a predator, and made his more aggressive moves, grasping John's ass firmly.

Karkat caught a glimpse of this and had no idea how to process it. His mind was swmming from alternative influences and the ecstasy of music and overwhelming need. He tried to shake his head and just enjoy the party. He had been doing so this entire time, but he couldn't forget that conversation he had with Gamzee earlier that day. The thought of Gamzee re-awakened his curiosity and self-loathing over his Tavros tattoo, which he still hadn't inquired about. He tried to block everything out, half the lyrics had already escaped him. He looked up to Sollux who was doing his part as the grinning electronic pied piper. The music seized him and caused him to jump again

_When you're burnin' down, when you're burnin' down..._  
><em>Its the way that you fake it I know its too late<em>

_But I- JUST WANT TO BRING IT ROUND_  
><em>WE, WE'RE GONNA GET THERE TONIGHT.<em>  
><em>I JUST WANT TO TAKE YOU DOWN<em>  
><em>WE, WE'RE GONNA BRING YOU ROUND.<em>

Karkat felt tears escape his face. It was a foreign feel to him, crying though he wasn't sad. Crying because he wasn't forgotten. His friends still wanted something to do with him, Gamzee wouldn't leave his side, and his new life was finally settling in around him. There was a small bitterness to those tears, bitterness of going on with the remainder of his friends, never feeling like he was right for Gamzee even as far as moirails go. Regardless, he wouldn't admit any of it. The bass and heat snatched him back, Gamzee's thin frame coming into his space. He clung desperately to the violet blooded troll and kissed him. He didn't care who saw. Thoughtlessly the dyed troll kissed him back, pulling him deeper into the kiss by his hair.

And there they froze. Imperfect and perfect all in the same instant. It didn't matter what they were, what only mattered what they could become that night, and that night alone.

For that night, they were matesprits with nothing to hold on to but each other.

* * *

><p>First song: Professional Griefers- Deadmau5 feat Gerard Way<p>

Second song: Ghosts n' stuff - Deadmau5 feat Rob Swire


	7. Chapter 7

Smoke clung to every air particle it could, suffocating the clean oxygen and replacing it with a mind numbing sopor. It smelled awful, except to everyone who sat in that room, which at the moment were two people who had shifted away from the party to be alone. The room served as a second den, couches, tables, and a hookah rested on the coffee table in the center. The music could be felt booming the walls of the house and vibrating all within.

Karkat cried out loudly, before covering his mouth with his hand and closing his eyes to muffle the sound. His mind was fogged, hazy, swimming in all sorts of thoughts as his skin was set ablaze. He groaned, biting the back of his palm as his other hand reached out and yanked Gamzee's hair from between his thighs. He let go with his teeth, melting into the couch and just sighing heavily. His eyebrows knitted upward before he stared down at the monster who was causing all this.

Gamzee had unzipped him free, and was humming deeply, bobbing his head slowly up and down Karkat's throbbing length. He seemed to be enjoying himself way too much, tongue lapping at his tip and swirling around his cock, grabbing the base of him with one hand and his ass with the other. Karkat couldn't fathom why Gamzee liked doing this so much, it could be so degrading. Maybe that was exactly why he liked it.

Gamzee was stoned, drunk, and completely in his element.

He groaned loudly, rocking his hips gently as he grabbed Gamzee's curved horns. He stared down at those lips wrapped around him, and tossed some of his feathered locks from his face. No matter what the reasoning behind Gamzee's obsession, he loved watching just as much as Gamzee loved performing.

He had a bleary thought, then grabbed Gamzee by his horns and shoved him off. The highblood seemed confused, bloodshot eyes staring at him. Karkat shoved himself off the couch, and stared Gamzee eye-to-eye. He wrapped his arms around his neck and forced his mouth on him. The capricorn seemed surprised, but reciprocated more than happily, grabbing his ass fervidly. He chuckled deeply in his chest, grabbed his cheeks with one hand, stared straight into his being and whispered

"You are so fucking high, ain't you brother?" He ground against the toxic-blooded troll hungrily, before Karkat grabbed him by the collar, cut a turn on his heel, and tossed him to the couch. He stared up at him, eyes fogged with heat and illegal substance. Karkat stared down at him, half exposed, before he dropped to straddle his lap. Gamzee hummed, licking his lips and leaning forward to nibble Karkat's neck as the shorter troll worked on setting him free. Karkat groaned from the distraction, but worked still. Once Gamzee was free, he bit his ear to deter him from his neck, and shuffled to flop on his side, head in Gamzee's lap, and he lazily licked up the bottom of his cock.

Gamzee groaned, spreading his legs further, hand on Karkat's side. He huffed. "Motherfuckin' shit, man..." He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Karkat's burgundy eyes staring up at him, his hand cupping the base of his dick as his tongue lapped lazily up to the tip. He propped himself up on his elbow, before shoving the tip into his mouth and down to his base, those eyes staying on him. Gamzee cried out, gripping his ass hungrily, before finally reaching down to play Karkat's plump cock. Karkat made a muffled sound, eyebrows knitting upward before he spread his legs further and bouncing his head up and down on his dick, his saliva causing a sheen and a sloppy, slobbering sound.

After a while, Karkat shoved Gamzee's hand from him and straddled his lap again, this time standing so his erect cock was level with Gamzee's mouth. Gamzee stared wide eyed up at Karkat, but Karkat's expression didn't budge. He was the dominant one now. Gamzee licked his lips and Karkat huffed.

"You like sucking my dick so much why don't you help yourself?"

His voice came out low, raw. His mind was spinning from the weed, and his heart and body were pounding from his appetite. Gamzee's jaw dropped slightly. Where did all this come from?! He shook his mane aside, licking his lips before he took Karkat into his mouth. Karkat hummed as he slowly started to roll his hips into Gamzee's throat. Gamzee let this happen, let his face get fucked. He shifted anxiously under Karkat's control, wanting so much more. He couldn't believe how hot he was for this Karkat he hadn't known. He closed his eyes, hands going to his best friend's ass to squeeze, fingers probing through to swipe over his hole. Karkat cried out, gripping the curved horns and forcing Gamzee to deep throat him.

Tears formed in the Capricious troll's eyes, but it only made him grip harder, rolling his hips anxiously. He could feel Karkat swelling thicker in his throat, and he waited. He looked up into those harsh crimson hues and tore his nails into his round ass, drawing red lines in their wake. It was a challenge. He wanted to feel Karkat cum in his throat, he wanted to gag on the luscious genetic material as it flowed and taste the miraculous essence. Karkat cried out from the abuse, and clenched his teeth, fucking Gamzee's throat harshly.

He bit his lip and gave a final cry, letting his cum shoot from the head of his cock deep into the back of Gamzee's throat. Gamzee's eyes pinched shut from the sensation, and he swallowed it all down to the best of his ability. He had purple tears streaming from his eyes from the raw effort, smearing his face paint. He pulled Karkat out of his mouth and shook his head, swallowing some more and gulping for air. Karkat huffed and fell over sideways, landing on his back and into a menagerie of pillows. Gamzee pinned him, straddling his ribcage and staring down at him.

Karkat stared up at him, spent but still impassioned. His mane shrouded his face, most of what was visable of his guise were his glowing gold and orchid eyes and the saliva coated fangs. He was licking his lips hungrily, deep huffing sounds rumbling from his ribcage. He played with Gamzee's cock fervidly, the lanky troll groaning lowly, throwing himself into Karkat's hand.

"God damn you don't understand how motherfucking hot you are..."

Karkat actually allowed a grin up at Gamzee, before pushing up to rest on his elbows, and forcing Gamzee into his mouth. His moirail groaned loudly, head falling back. He was close, Karkat could taste it. He wanted it. God, he couldn't remember when he became such a slut for this appalling troll. Something in him had changed, set fire. He pulled off his dick and beat it relentlessly, staring up at him.

"Right on me. Do it. Cover me."

Gamzee obeyed, rounding his back and gripping Karkat's hair, spattering his face and neck with his violet colored cum. Gamzee watched ferverently as he painted Karkat's face with his own seed. Karkat panted and allowed it, stretching his neck out to try and let it cover him further. Gamzee groaned as Karkat purred in a reassuring tone, licking his lips.

"Good boy..."

* * *

><p>Karkat was sitting on the couch, his thoughts wrapped in a cocoon of smoke, the electronic music from the main living room thumping in his heart. Gamzee was sprawled out beside him, staring at the hookah blankly. It wouldn't be long before some other party goers were going to come in and start smoking the fragrant shisha. He was literally two seconds away from passing out. Karkat entertained himself by soothing his hair gently, which helped in calming the bard considerably.<p>

Karkat was still a little troubled. His eyes were fargone from the pulsating festivities around him, and his heart pained, though his body was still limp from their romping earlier. John and Dave were a thing, he should stop thinking about him. It was hard, though. He always had a strange fondness for the human. Just as that though arrived, the second, more pressing matter rose to the front of his conscience. He was silent, fingers standing still in the curled, mangled locks of the Capricorn.

"...Gamzee. I gotta ask you something."

Gamzee felt slightly surprised from the seriousness in Karkat's tone, but looked up at him.

"Shoot the motherfuckin' shit, my brother. Whats on your mind?"

Karkat swallowed, eyes wandering every which way, but not looking Gamzee in the eye.

"...why...when did you get that tattoo?" As soon as the question left him, a wave of relief and pain washed over his entire being. He cringed slightly, gut churning from doubt. He knew Gamzee would say it was for his matesprit, the one boy he loved. The boy who wasn't him, and the same one he could never compare to.

Gamzee tilted his head and pondered for a minute.

"Its for Tavros." Karkat sighed, and looked away.

"I know its his symbol. But, whats the story behind it. Like..." he fumbled agitatedly. "I guess what I'm saying is do you still love him?" He could feel the tears. He would deny them for as long as possible. He was so frustrated but he needed closure. He needed it for as long as he had seen the damn thing.

Gamzee pondered for a minute, and sighed a little.

"I loved the shit out of that boy." he sounded sad, and Karkat was kicking himself for bringing it up. Gamzee continued, clearing his throat. "He was sweet and broken...warm...I like to remember his eyes...he was the best bro I could have ever motherfuckin' asked for. We had a lot of fun back on Alternia, just hangin' out and bein' bros, laying down sick beats." He paused, eyes going lifeless for a moment as he remembered it all.

"...but he didn't love me."

Karkat's fingers immediately tangled in the mob of raven hair, nose crinkling as he could feel himself tearing up. He had to stifle a sob as he realized just how selfish he had been. "I got the tattoo to remember him. Cause some days I just...can't seem to remember anything. I must be the shittiest motherfuckin' friend ever if I can't even remember the kid who meant so much to me." He shook his head. "I got it cause, I don't want to be a shitty friend anymore."

Karkat slumped, wrapping his upper torso around Gamzee's head as he just trembled. His mind was altered, that much was sure, but the pain he felt...he had felt horrible for bringing it up. Gamzee was doomed to suffer under the murderous alter-self that loomed behind the curtain of sopor, he would never not have that side of him. Gamzee's arms went up to hug around Karkat's head, hugging him and nuzzling his face, smearing paint over Karkat's cheek. The bard frowned, and patted his cheek. "Hey man whats all this? Tears? Ah man bro...I didn't wanna make you cry. I'm sorry, hold on." He pushed to sit up in Karkat's lap, hands holding his face steady as he stared into those troubled candy eyes. Karkat sniffled a bit, wobbling, and rubbed his face.

"No, no I'm not crying. I'm not."

"...then you're bleeding? Holy shit bro we gotta get you to a hospital!"

"GAMZEE."

"You just said you wasn't crying so you gotta be motherfuckin' bleedin'!"

"NO. SIDDOWN."

Gamzee remained seated, a puzzled expression on his face. He scratched his head as Karkat sighed, wiping the last of his tears.

"Look. I'm really sorry I've been...shitty. I was crying. I'll admit that to you and no one else." Gamzee perked slightly, tilting his head. He was like an expectant puppy. The cancer troll sighed again, hands on Gamzee's biceps just above the elbow. He looked him in the eye, his own were rose-hinted and watery. "But I am going to change. I am going to make life better for the two of us. I promise." He rested his head under Gamzee's neck, pondering. He didn't know how he was going to accomplish that, but he had to try. Gamzee soothed his choppy locks evenly, relaxing in his hold. Karkat closed his eyes.

"...I love you."

"I love you too, bro."


	8. Chapter 8

_It was black. Everything was black sans for one small hole in the ceiling. He was bound, arms behind his back and legs stiff as boards. He sniffed the black air around him and whispered "I smell blood...why do I smell blood..."_

_Dazed, he tried to look up into the only source of light and his eyes went wide with fear. All over the ceiling was a mural, figures of trolls and humans painted in agony, desmembered bodies and severed heads on spears. The paint gleamed in the dim light, making their eyes shine and slowly fade, as if the life was literally leaving them._

_Then he realized it wasn't paint._

_He sobbed and flailed his legs, trying to run but he felt trapped. As soon as he felt like he was getting anywhere, a great shadow cast itself upon him, and a bestial heat radiated above him. Trembling, he slowly craned his head skyward to stare into the hollow eyes of the grand highblood. His mane was massive, and his breath smelled of fresh death. Slowly, the massive monster reached down toward him, palm gaping with outstretched fingers. Suddenly he couldn't scream, could barely breathe as he struggled vainly in the dark._

_Gamzee appeared in front of him, standing between him and the incoming death, eyes glowing. He wanted to cry, to just collapse and be thankful Gamzee was there to save him._

_Slowly, Gamzee reached up and smeared the paint on his face, his eyes shooting to a red gleam as an inhuman grin appeared on his visage, his pupils constricting. His clothes were torn and his horns were cracked. He started laughing. Slowly at first then uncontrollably, deep rainbow blood coating his skin, teeth and clothes._

_Karkat stared in horror at the abomination he could not stop or control. Tears silently slipped from his eyes as it became increasingly harder to breathe._

_A chain slipped around the Subjugglator's neck, and then Gamzee's. The giant monster above roared with vigor and thrashed against his cold bonds. When a sense of safety trickled over Karkat, it would prove too soon. Gamzee slipped a gun out of his pocket, traced his tongue along the barrel, and shoved it into his mouth, staring Karkat in the face as his finger started calmly squeezing the trigger. His eyes, though still red, seemed at peace. Karkat panicked and took as deep a breath as he could to plead, but it was no use. Gamzee's fangs dug into the metal and a gunshot rang out._

Karkat woke up sobbing uncontrollably, not enough room to scream. He would have shot up and out of bed, if Gamzee hadn't been sleeping on top of him. Literally on top of him. They had passed out on the couch in the second den the night before.

When he realized where he was, he clung to Gamzee desperately and stared up at the ceiling. He lay there trembling, regaining his psyche for a moment. Being so used to not having dreams, the last thing he expected was a mind-shattering nightmare. Come to think of it he wasn't really used to having dreams that weren't Prospit-related.

Gamzee stirred, smacking his lips and blinking his eyes blearily, before hugging Karkat tightly and whispering.

"Hey woah woah whats wrong? Hey.." He patted Karkat's cheeks before shifting so Karkat could get comfortable. Karkat's pupils were slitted from fear as he stared up at him. Sopor. Sopor. He needed sopor. "Hey man, you alright? You look all crazy."

When he finally came around, he realized that the "death" he smelt was actually Gamzee's morning breath. He breathed steadily, and nodded. "Yeah no its cool. Bad dream, thats all." Gamzee yawned and nuzzled against his cheeks.

"I'm sorry bro. Ain't nothin' I can do to beat the bad vibes out of you?" Gamzee was obviously still half asleep, but Karkat felt a little better knowing that he was still sane enough to want to help him. He shook his head.

"No, I'll be ok. Go back to sleep." He then pushed to stand, shuffling from the couch to finally land a foot on the floor. He shook his head lightly, rubbing his eyes, before standing.

The room spun, his status catching up with him as his gut churned. He darted off to find a bathroom not too far from the room he had slept in, the cold hard wood floors making his footsteps loud. He slammed the bathroom door behind him, locked it, and hugged the load gaper for dear life. If there was any sort of deity that wanted Karkat to be safe, they were barely paying attention today.

* * *

><p>After twenty minutes of heaving and a toilet flush, Karkat wrapped his jacket around him, and numbly made his way out into the living room. John and Dave's house was a wreck, which was to be expected. He stepped out of the way for some human girls who were searching for their shoes and purses, emulating what humans may call the "walk of shame". They sure seemed ashamed alright.<p>

He walked past the kitchen, spotting Kanaya who was pouring ginger ale into a glass pint. She was in pajamas, most confusingly. Rose was half-awake beside her, staring faintly into the glass. She was in her clothes from last night, her hair a wreck and they both lacked make-up. He heard that ginger ale was good for after party hangovers, which was a fuckin' mystery to him, but oh well. He shuffled over, scratching his head tiredly.

Kanaya smiled at him. "Good morning, Karkat. Could not help but over hear a very intimate conversation you were having with the toilet. Ginger ale?" She held a glass of ginger ale up and swished the liquid around. Karkat gulped, the swishing of the soda unsettling him. He grimaced.

"Only if they're as good for hangovers as I keep hearing." Rose rubbed her eyes and spoke up. "Either this or gatorade...you gotta hydrate yourself. I'm not...really sure...why ginger ale helps. At this time." She stuttered and sipped her own glass. Usually the vision of intellect, after a night of drinking she could be reaaaally unhelpful. Kanaya offered a drink to Karkat and he took it, sipping tentatively. It tasted odd, but he didn't mind. Better than vomit.

"Where is everyone?"

"Sollux is outside on the patio." She paused, trying to recall the locations of their other comrades. "Dave...he is...well, John is in their bathroom, curled around the toilet with a blanket on top of him." The idea made Karkat snicker audibly. "Gamzee was with you in the den, and...Jade is upstairs." Karkat nodded at the new information.

"...I'm gonna have to find Dave sooner or later." He had to...borrow something. Putting it lightly. He spoke up slightly. "So can I ask you why you're in pajamas and everyone is in their clothes from last night?"

"Well I've done a fair amount of looking into human customs of 'partying' and noticed they all seem to stay the night accidentally after such an occassion, so I packed a few changes of clothing." She seemed oddly proud of herself. It was her first party after all, and she felt it was a great success.

"...only you." And he took another sip of his soda, blinking calmly. He looked over his shoulder and could see Sollux leaning against the railing of the patio, overlooking the city. Dave and John had a really nice set up in a big house that sat on a sort of hill, the view of their city was remarkable from their backyard. Karkat perked a bit, and turned to take his soda outside. "I'll be right back."

As he slid past the patio door, Sollux perked his head. He had a gatorade by his bare foot, and a jacket tossed over his frame. He smirked a bit. "Sup KK. Saw you partyin' hard last night." He chuckled. "Maybe a bit too hard?" He nodded to the ginger ale in his hand, causing the cancer troll to shuffle awkwardly. "I had no idea you were into this sort of stuff."

"Yeah, well. I don't typically like stuff like this. Adjusting has made my life stressful as hell lately. I felt like I kind of...needed...last night." Up until the nightmare. He took a spot beside the honey-blooded troll, cocking an eyebrow. "So anyway, what exactly has been going up on your end? I never see your ass anymore." Sollux laughed a bit, rubbing his nose. Karkat nudged him slightly. "And whats up with the smiles? You've been grinning ear to ear since last night. Its almost concerning."

"I don't hear the voices anymore, KK." The fact that that was the first thing out of his mouth actually put a smile on Karkat's face. "The screams, the nightmares, they're completely gone. I mean, everything else is the same, except -that-." Karkat tilted his head slightly.

"So the crippling bipolarism is still there."

"Yeah, but humans have developed medications for that sort of thing. Turns out we're not too different from them. They already have medications for all sorts of mental illnesses that we as a race struggled with for so long." He looked to Karkat, shrugging a bit. "Sometimes when I can't handle it, I go to therapy. It really really helps, considering...all we've been through." Karkat blinked a minute. He had a really hard time imagining that any sort of therapist would even know where to -begin- with the list of problems Sollux might have to unload.

"I find it a miracle they haven't prescribed you with anything for your crippling insanity. Honestly, I don't think a therapist would do you any good. Even though all the shit you say is really really true, how are they gonna know you're not crazy?"

"I sit them down and don't let them get a word in edgewise."

"Ah." Karkat smirked before laughing. Sollux laughed with him, shaking his head. God it was so good to see him again, even if it was under weird circumstances. Then the sad reminder set in. He had to go to therapy because he didn't have a moirail. He didn't have anyone. He looked over to his old friend, who was still smiling, pondering. He had a sort of guiltless smile, like there was a lot he wished he could change, but he had settled that all that was in the past. Realizing the secret behind his smile kind of put Karkat in a bind emotionally.

"So I noticed you and Gamzee." Sollux waggled his eyebrows a bit and Karkat slugged his shoulder. "Hey if it was meant to be a secret, you two suck at keeping it that way, not my fault." Karkat stared off a bit, and contemplated what his relationship with Gamzee must have looked like from an outsider's perspective. He sighed a bit.

"He's my idiot alright. He does his damndest to try and keep me sane, and god forbid I don't do the same for him."

"Do you ever get scared that he might...relapse?"

When that thought was uttered, his mind froze on the paintings in his mind. The ones of blood, gore, death. The painted destroyer with gleaming red eyes and an ear shattering scream clutching on to a gun. The image disturbed him deeply and he fought to shake it out of his mind.

"...I'd be lying if I said I never worried about that."

* * *

><p>After a while of much needed catching up with his old friend, the two headed back inside. Sitting at the island in a barstool with his head resting on the counter was John, blanket and all. He had on his jeans, a pair of slippers, his glasses, and a mean bedhead. Rose had joined him, sitting in the stool beside him. This morning was none too kind to him, similar to the way it was taking its toll on the others.<p>

Jade had made her way downstairs, and was busying herself by preparing chocolate chip pancakes. She stood with her hair tied back in her white t-shirt, jean shorts, and knee high rainbow stockings. She, unlike the others, seemed to be making this hangover her bitch. Though she did not drink often, she had a tolerance level that was unheard of. She grinned as she looked over to Kanaya, who was cooking eggs and bacon on the stove.

"Remember Dave? How he kept knocking into things and apologizing to them? How it got so bad he apologized to that lamp?" she covered her mouth in a small giggle, and Kanaya smiled back. She chuckled a bit at the memory while John laughed audibly.

"Oh my god." John rubbed his face. "He was so drunk. You guys don't know this but he was the first one into the bathroom to hurl." Rose looked over at John, honestly surprised.

"Did you find him?"

"Find him? I threw cheetohs and doritos at him as he hugged the toilet. I kept telling him "Here, eat these. They'll absorb the alcohol." and he just nodded and ate them and threw them back up again." by the end of his sentence he had already dissolved back into laughter. Jade couldn't help but laugh, the imagery was too good, and the others were laughing with them.

And out of nowhere struts Dave, nothing but boxers and a horse mask. He takes his spot leaning against the island, watching the others have their fun. When they spotted him, John perked up.

"Hey Dave. Have fun last night?"

"Hm? I have no fucking clue. I guess I fell asleep in this mask?" He scratched the horse's scalp gently, confused. "But I'm not hungover so I guess I'm making this morning my bitch." And he just stood there, peacocking. John contorted and dissolved into laughs again, hiding his head in his arms and blanket. Dave tossed his head around, confused as to what was causing everyone to laugh. "Why's everyone giggly? Are you guys still drunk? HA. I knew it. I knew you guys would still be drunk." John physically got up, put his hands over his head like he was done, and proceeded to leave the room with a huge grin on his face.

Dave smirked.

"That kid is drunk."

After all the giggles had dissolved and everyone was eating breakfast, Karkat remembered what he had meant to ask, and cleared his throat. He picked up his plate and sat next to Dave, who had then removed the horse mask, and was depending on his shades for sweet relief from the "harsh light". He whispered

"Strider. Do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Sup."

"Do you have any more...weed?" Dave perked and grinned.

"Oh my god I am so proud of you. You came so far from being a little prude about not wanting to get drunk or stoned or any sort of inebriated and now look at you, asking uncle Dave for some weed. God this is going to make an amazing scrapbook page." and Karkat fumbled.

"Oh my GOD that is not even close to what I meant. Yes, yes you've changed me. Possibly for the better, even! Now I'll be more willing to get under the influence and make life changing decisions at the drop of a hat because I can't leave the house without a flask of whiskey or a dime of Kush. Bravo, you douchebag. And don't give yourself a pat on the back you pricknose, thats nothing to be proud of. Have you noticed we're all sitting here except for one?"

Dave stopped his self-congratulatory back patting to look around. He frowned a bit. "Oh yeah. You guys brought the juggalo troll, didn't you? The one who apparently went nuts?" Karkat sighed agitatedly.

"He was always kind of nuts, but we keep him high so he doesn't go apeshit as easily." Dave nodded a bit and shrugged.

"And I don't like when things get apeshit insane. I'll see what I can do."


	9. Chapter 9

Karkat waited.

The early morning light intensified as time passed, and softly the smell of smoke wafted through the atmosphere, taking tangible shape in the rays that beamed from the skylights overhead. He had his head propped in his hand, and was staring blankly at the TV, flopped in one of the leather sofas that framed the living room. John could be heard shuffling around, getting his keys and his books. He was preparing to head off to school, and nothing was gonna keep him, not even a heavy night of partying and drinking. To him it was all a part of the college experience, even if the party had been at his own house.

Sollux was in the couch opposite him, same bored expression with his eyes fixed on the TV. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his legs flopped. The channel was on some sort of cheesy daytime show aimed at women that was about human mothers preparing for multiple babies or some shit. To be honest they had no idea why they continued watching this garbage and didn't flip the channel. Human birth is disgusting.

John sauntered over, smiling a bit at the two before waving. "Ok guys, I'm out. I'll see you later." Karkat and Sollux waved absent-mindedly, before Karkat spoke up.

"Thanks for letting us crash here John. I'd send you a card that said that, but I'm pretty sure they don't make them accurate enough." John laughed, scratching his head.

"Its cool. You sure I can't talk you into letting me drive you guys home? Kinda bogus you have to walk all that way."

Karkat shook his head. "Nah, we'll make you late. I'm waiting on Sir Asshole to get tall dark and gruesome stoned so we can make it home without any slip ups. I don't think Dave really has a grasp on how much weed that guy smokes anyway. Or needs to at least."

John chuckled a bit, albeit with a slight nervous undertone. "Alright. Well I'll catch you guys later, then. Try not to get mugged or hit by a car on your way back, ok?" and he nodded a goodbye to Sollux as he passed through the front door. Sollux laughed lightly after the door closed, rubbing his eyes lightly. "Gamzee's a toker. I don't know why thats funny to me, but it is."

An episode and a half passed and the troll in question could be heard strolling behind Karkat's chair, the smell of pot clinging to the fibers of his shirt and the strands of his hair. His eyes were glazed over slightly and he coughed once or twice, before plopping on the armrest Karkat wasn't using. He finger combed through his hair roughly, and smiled a bit down at his best friend, clasping his hands neatly over his lap. Karkat rolled his eyes and looked up to him.

"You about ready?"

Gamzee gave two huge nods, bobbing his whole upper torso with the movement, and smacked his lips lightly before speaking. "You think we could make a swift drop at the grocery? I wanna get me some motherfuckin' soda and chicken. I got cotton mouth like a motherfucker." Karkat sighed and pushed himself up, Gamzee's hand coming around to rest on his back.

"I guess we could. Even though we just went grocery shopping the other day." He cut a stare at the highblood, as if he wanted him to figure out the real answer, which was a resounding 'no'. Gamzee grinned widely. "Word! I'll pick you up something too, if that is your current volition." Karkat threw up his arms in defeat and pushed himself up to stand the rest of the way. Sollux was chittering laughter in the corner which prompted a pillow to be thrown at him via Karkat.

-  
>The weather was brisk, getting chillier as the morning's light passed. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the tree leaves had begun their descent from green to red and gold. The boys enjoyed their quiet walk, hands laced together softly. Karkat was a man who liked denying admitting things, and among those things would be the idea that he really loved these quiet moments with Gamzee. The moments where they were both lost in thought, but placed in a mutual comfortable silence.<p>

The highblood gripped Karkat's hand tightly, and their eyes met through the corners of their vision. Gamzee flashed him a sopor-induced smile. Karkat allowed a small smirk, before squeezing his hand back. It was like that instant, they came to a mutual understanding that they were more than moirails. They had progressed in heated secrecy to a much more flushed quadrant. Karkat could feel his face heating slightly as he realized all of this in his quiet contemplation.

Gamzee faultered, his foot catching on a slightly uprooted square of sidewalk. He stumbled, but Karkat grabbed him by his arm quickly, and the bard took hold of him with a hint of desperation. He blinked a bit, looking up at the taller boy, eyes questioning. Gamzee's own eyes seemed distant. He checked over his own shoulder, a doubting expression over his features. Karkat looked over Gamzee's shoulder as well, not sure of what he was looking for. He took his hand and placed it on Gamzee's cheek, before pushing him so he would look ahead instead of behind him. Gamzee shook his head, and looked to Karkat, smiling again.

Karkat rolled his eyes, but continued walking. He'd chalk it up to the fact that Gamzee was always a bit outlandish and absent-minded.

Gamzee, on the other hand, kept shaking his head and subtly coughing at random intervals. Whenever he would cough, Karkat would just lean himself closer to Gamzee's frame, feeling compelled to do so even if the exact reason escaped him. He really hoped he could get Gamzee home soon.

If you were Gamzee, you knew what you saw.

.-

Though all the pleasantries of new love had emerged, Karkat could not forget the nightmare he had suffered that morning.

Something was different with him. He saw an unsettled stare washing over his features, and he remained quiet the entire afternoon. Through the silence a new sort of rage was born. The uncertainty. An ear piercing cloud of nothingness. Through the nothingness Karkat could have sworn he heard darker violences, unspoken screams.

Gamzee had sat at the table for some time, just staring at his fingers. Karkat slipped into the kitchen and prepared him a pan of slime, and set it before him. The bard drew his fingers back quickly, eyes widening before squinting. His chest rose and fell harshly, and his skin broke out into a small sweat. Karkat watched him. He watched him as if he were watching an asylum prisoner, wary eyes and knowing instincts. His whole self was on edge, though his instincts told him what to expect, there was no actual way of knowing anything.

If you were Gamzee you saw the hole. You saw the nothingness that all life came to be from and in the end returned to. You witnessed it in its darkest form, staring with those bright amber eyes and severed shadow bodies. You saw it beckon for you, calling you with a comforting and menacing voice. It promised freedom, respect, and peace for your troubled mind. All you could do was stare into its empty promises. You knew it was hell. There was no sugar coating what you actually saw. The colors swirled and desaturated and exploded all at once, and you were left with a feeling of doubt and a cold reminder that this was ultimately your fate. There is no place in heaven for murderous scum like you.

It didn't have to be. You're better than all of this. Better than anyone. You could own all of hell, and be its master. All you had to do was come to terms with who you really were, the coldest and bloodiest piece of trash that ever walked. You could be higher than trash. You could rise up and become the greatest nightmare this world had ever known.

And now this slime was back. This slime that had calmed these vicious thoughts and rotted his brain for so long, and it sat there in its pan looking harmless and promising. He couldn't accept empty promises anymore. He wouldnt. He could not afford to be betrayed again.

Gamzee closed his arms around his chest and trembled violently. It was cold, yet so unbearably hot. He trembled and chattered his teeth as he sweat, the sight causing Karkat's hair to stand at the back of his neck. His pupils dialated as he watched his matesprit suffer internally. There it was again, gripping him. That feeling of helplessness. He could only watch as Gamzee strained under silent stares and deaf screams. It killed him. He shook his head as he realized what was happening.

Gamzee let loose one of his arms to slap the slime away, before digging his nails into the wood of the table. The sudden movements caused Karkat to jump, and go rigid. The pan hit the door in its journey through the air and painted the walls a sickly neon hue. Gamzee shook his head and sobbed once before heaving a deep breath and grounding out.

"I'm not eating this shit anymore." He grit his teeth fiercely, not daring to look up at Karkat, who had wandered closer with steady, shaky steps. "I WON'T." The sudden roar shook the table, indigo blood spattering across its surface from the bleeding gums of the shattered troll. Karkat jolted backwards but took two steps forward.

"I'm not gonna make you eat it, ok?" He reached out slowly, trying to hang on to his wits. His dream flashed back into his mind, the sound of the subjugglator's breathing transpired from his memories to the heaving and broken Gamzee on the table. As much as it scared him, he could not stand back any further. He placed his hand on Gamzee's trembling arm and soothed him with quiet shooshing noises. Gamzee stared up at him through his hair and shook his head.

"I...need you Karkat." and when he sobbed it nearly shattered the mutant-blooded troll's heart into pieces. He was desperately trying to pull himself together and it wasn't working fast enough. He cut his gaze at him and shouted. "DON'T LEAVE ME."

And he sat there so ungodly still with his eyes so wide and focused and his mouth nailed shut and his paint was running with indigo salt water. His adam's apple bobbed slowly as he swallowed the mind shattering silence that remained. The statement remained in the realm that existed between request and demand, unable to pick a side.

Karkats tears fell from his eyes, almost as if they didn't exist at all. His pupils dialated and his jaw searched for words numbly. He could be anywhere but here. Anywhere calm, happy. Peaceful. He shook his head and replied quietly.

"...I won't. Ever. I promise." He was way too scared to say much else, but no matter how panicked he became, he would never fail anyone again. He had paid the price too many times for that to happen again.

After that one statement they stared at each other.

Karkat made the first move. He gripped Gamzee's arm and pulled it away from the table, watching thos capricious eyes dart from viewpoint to another. Seeing this, he mindlessly climbed into his lap and rested there under his chin, stroking Gamzee's cheeks with his fingertips and neck, washing down his collarbone and shoulders. The indigo calmed considerably, but sat there awkwardly for a moment, refusing to touch. He was just as badly shaken as Karkat was, and that brought the cancer some relief.

A few moments passed and Gamzee wrapped his arms around his matesprit, albeit possessively, but the effects were still soporing. His breathing slowed, and the heat no longer choked him, but instead welcomed him. He pulled Karkat from his neck and kissed him. The scarlet troll mindlessly kissd him back, expression full of tumultuous emotion.

He released his mate and Karkat sobbed a sigh against his neck, burying himself away in the warm, salty, platinum skin. He really did love these fucked up quiet moments with Gamzee, no matter what they entailed. Silently he admitted to the enveloping quiet

"I need you too."


End file.
